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Too Wise to be Mistaken, Too Good to be Unkind:
Christian Parents Contend With Autism
www.graceandtruthbooks.com
I had
just finished reading a portion of a book to my son which detailed the
life of Helen Keller. As I discussed it with him, his eyes grew huge
with astonishment. He turned to me and questioned, "You mean she couldn't see
anything, that she was completely blind?"
"That's right," I answered, nodding. I watched as he closed his eyes,
wrinkled his upturned face, and felt the space around him. "What
would it be like to be blind?" he wondered.
"And remember," I said, " she couldn't hear, either."
He opened his eyes and looked at me, more shocked than before. "She was blind
AND deaf?" He now mindlessly fingered his ears.
This news was almost impossible for him to grasp. He desperately searched my
expression to see if I was indeed telling the truth. When he saw that I
was, his sweet face twisted into a pained expression and his deep blue
eyes welled up with tears.
"What is it, sweetie?" I asked, moved by his obvious,
but unexpected, emotion.
He answered solemnly, with barely a whisper, "Oh, mommy, we should be so
thankful to God----How terrible it would be if there was something wrong with
me."
"Yes," I managed to choke out, tears clouding my own eyes, "It would be."
I reached for my son who has autism, bent, and planted a kiss on the top of
his head.
Have you ever taken a moment to consider what someone else goes through,
their hardship or loss, and then unexpectedly find yourself turning around
and looking at your own life-challanges with a different perspective? Somehow
your own difficulties don't seem so great anymore, do they? Having a thankful
heart is something which needs to be disciplined and cultivated within us, it
doesn't just happen naturally. One of the best ways to become a more thankful
person is to actually BE more thankful. And what ought to give us the most
cause to be thankful is to recognize that ultimately, we deserve nothing. In
fact, whatever good we do have, as small a blessing as it may be, has not
been earned or deserved by us, but has been graciously gifted to us by the
hand of our kind and merciful heavenly Father.
In January of this year we woke up one morning to find a perfect, white layer
of snow covering everything outside. It was so beautifully peaceful.
The boys, Drew, who was nine at the time and who has autism, and Elliot, who
was seven years old, were dying to get out in it. We
bundled them up and David, my husband, took them out.
I stood at a bedroom window watching them play and I smiled to myself. I
chuckled as Drew picked up a clump of snow and gleefully threw it in David's
direction. He missed. In return, David threw a small snowball which hit Drew,
splattering into bits all over his chest. Drew burst out
laughing and went for another lump of ammunition near his feet.
I got the camera to take a picture of the wild, happy
group outside. Then it dawned on me that I had stood in that very same spot four
years before to take a picture of the boys and David venturing out into the
newly fallen snow. I still have that picture and remember the day well. Little
Elliot,
only three years old then, was wrapped up so
tightly his arms looked ready for takeoff. David, trying his best to engage his
son,
tossed a snowball at Drew. It broke over Drew's coat, but he just watched the
remains fall to the ground. He just stood there and stared
at the ground, not yet knowing the steps to the dance called reciprocation.
After some real, but failed, attempts on David's part to employ Drew in some
frivolity, he gave up and they all finally came trudging back into the house.
This day in January was so different from that of four years before. I
laughed as they made an oddly shaped snowman, each working hard
to pat it all into place. And then, suddenly, it began to snow. Millions of
huge, glistening, sloppy flakes were let loose from heaven. The trio outside
paused from their work to look up and open their mittens, hoping to capture
some of the drifting puffs. I watched in awe at the immense beauty of the
moment and thought how those stunning white bits were like the
many, many blessings daily rained down upon us from our Maker. And like the
snowflakes, they are too numerous to count, and too undeserved to truly
appreciate in this lifetime.
I'll never forget this day when it snowed. Really, though, when you think
about it, it snows every day.
By Cathy Steere
Too Wise to be Mistaken, Too Good to be Unkind:Christian Parents Contend With Autism
ww.graceandtruthbooks.com
Book
reviews
Reviews by two parents of Too Wise to be Mistaken, Too Good to be Unkind:
Christian Parents Contend With Autism, from Amazon.com.
Reviewer: Anna A. Thorburn from Petersburgh, NY United States
Too Wise To Be Mistaken; Too Good To Be Unkind is a must-read for
all Bibically-minded parents facing the challenge of raising a child with a
disability!! It was first recommended to us by our family doctor, and proved to
be a turning point in our lives.
As a mother of 4 small children, one with autism and mild CP, this book was a
God-send. It was the single most helpful and theologically sound book that I
have read in my struggle to find appropriate and God-honoring treatment for our
son. In this excellent book, I was encouraged to think Bibically about our son,
God's provision, treatment options, and our own ability as parents to deal with
our son's disabilities. I feel completely confident now that we are ordained by
God as parents to make appropriate decsions for our child, and that God's hand
and grace are upon His children. That He has given us "all things pertaining to
life and godliness.." Therefore, we can find all the answers for how to deal
with a disability using Bibical principles, which are so clearly outlined in
Cathy Steere's book! In this book, she shares the story of early life with her
son Drew~how they parented him (this could be considered a parenting manual as
well, in my opinion!), how they found out he has autism, and then their journey
through the options available to them.
Though Cathy does not promote *one* single way of dealing with a disability, we
personally found that the approach she and her husband chose for their own son,
has worked for us as well. We used her resource lists found in the book to
contact specialists across the country, finally finding "our" specialist for our
son Josiah. We homeschool our children, but wondered if our disabled son would
fare as well in that environment as oppossed to with the "professionals." After
reading Cathy's book and with much prayer and research, we found that we could
**indeed** homeschool our son and that he would certainly fare even better than
if put in the school environment! Above all, we have become confident in simply
thinking Bibically about each trial and decision that comes our way. Knowing God
is sovereign, His love abounds to His own children, and that He is sufficient
for all our needs, including those regarding our autistic son...these things
give us hope and comfort.
Too Wise To Be Mistaken; Too Good To Be Unkind was the single most helpful tool
in our journey to "leave no stone unturned" in the quest for what is best for
our son. God brought it to us at just the right time. I have recommended it to
dozens of families. Our family doctor also recommends it to all his patients who
have an autistic or disabled child. I cannot recommend this book more highly~~it
is a must-read!!!!!!!!!! ~Anna Thorburn
Reviewer: Tim Stevens from Renton, WA USA
In attempting to find authoritative books on Autism, there tends to be two
sources: psychologists/health care professionals, and parents who have engaged
(usually with some measure of success) in one form of therapy or another. Cathy
Steere makes no pretenses to be authoritative; hers is a gritty, first-hand
account of the realities of encountering the faceless monster that is Autism and
her personal battle to snatch her son from its jaws.
Steere provides a candor in her narrative that is refreshing. She doesn't shirk
from the graphic details of personal agony; self-doubt and second-guessing that
haunt all parents of Autistic children. She resists the temptation to portray
herself as a selfless heroine in providing the constant therapy to her son, and,
in so doing, gives hope to the reader who struggles through the same
frustrations.
Those who view Autism solely as a psychological/social disorder will no doubt
denigrate the therapy program espoused by Steere. This approach focuses upon
treating the brain as a physical organ, rather than a social organ, and operates
from the standpoint that repetitive exercise through continual input can
strengthen the desired skills and ultimately produce the desired output. As an
educator, scientist and athletic coach, I find the approach solid in basis.
After trying "typical" approaches - including standard physical and occupational
therapies as well as restrictive diets - my wife Denise and I found in Steere's
book a program that empowers the parent to affect real change in the child. For
my wife, the book provided a constant companion, a friend who was able to share
her grief and hope on command. For myself, it provided a source to make sense
out of the confusion that ensnarled our family. For our daughter, the book
provided us an avenue to effectively wrest her from her darkness. The progress
that she has experienced - a progress that has been significant enough to both
make an impression upon her doctors and therapists and provide relief and hope
to our family - can be substantially attributed to Cathy's tale of struggle and
victory with her son Drew.
This book is, indeed, not for everyone. Not all parents will be willing to put
the time, effort, and energy and yes, discipline necessary into the program to
which Steere refers. Steere's unapologetically conservative Christian values
will no doubt be an affront to those who are looking for a more "touchy-feely"
approach. That being said, Steere's book is a venture into a bold response to an
insidious condition...a response with a decidedly happy ending.
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